Sunday, July 1, 2012

Sexual Advisor to the Captain

Last week on a layover I had someone ask me in the bar, what I did.
I said, "I'm a pilot."

"What? You're the captain?"

"No, the first officer."

"So you're not the pilot?"

"I am a pilot."

"But I thought you said you weren't the captain."

"The first officer is a pilot too. Both the first officer and the captain are pilots."

"I know what a captain does, but what does a first officer do?"

Oh God. Seriously?  I'd been drinking a little bit so I told him, "The first officer is the sexual adviser to the Captain."

He said, "What?" Choking on his drink, and spraying me.

I smiled sweetly, and wiped my face with the back of my hand. "Yeah," I said. "The Captain always says, 'If I want any fucking advice from you, I'll ask for it!"


  1. hahahahhahahha i just LOL'd and even LMAO'd. but no i didn't ROFL cuz that would mean getting off my chair and actually going on the floor at 3am just to roll and laugh. but damn darby
    you are such a comedian. :P
    a sexy comedian.
    you should do a lay in bed comedy....instead of stand up get it? nvm
    kbye :D
    thx for this!

  2. Oh. My. God.. You have my crying again... This is the best..

  3. Leave it to you Darby! This is a riot. I guess I have a new title too. I might have to borrow this.

  4. Bad girl Darby... Go to my room... =) Get em Darby...